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What To Do When It Feels Like You're Not Living True To Yourself

It can be challenging to honor all parts of ourselves.

Often, we have contradictions, or at least a big variety, in what we desire in life. Our values can oppose each other at times!

You might long for travel, freedom and adventure... yet at the same time want routine, structure, and to feel grounded. That's normal.

Depending on your environment, relationships and current work, you'll likely have to set aside or deny certain parts of yourself at certain times. That's also normal.

The goal? It's to feel integrated, to feel like you're honoring all parts of yourself over the weeks and months, even if you can't honor all sides every day.

What It Feels Like When You're Not Honoring All Sides Of Yourself:

  • You might feel jealous of someone who seems to live a life that you secretly want to live.

  • You feel stuck or unfulfilled.

  • When you repress or deny a part of yourself, it can manifest as stress, anxiety, anger, tentativeness or other feelings in your body.

How You Can Approach These Feelings:

  1. Accept that within yourself, there are multiple versions of you. Acknowledge that we have different wants and needs, and it's normal to feel like you're neglecting certain parts of yourself.

  2. Identify what you want. Intentionally list out everything you might potentially desire at any given time. Give yourself permission to want things that are completely contradictory and/or unrelated.

  3. Figure out how you could integrate some of these values that you haven't been honoring in everyday life. If you're deeply craving adventure, travel or novelty, maybe you can take yourself out on an "Artist Date" (what Julia Cameron describes in the book The Artist's Way). Can you find a way of bringing in microscopic forms of novelty? Do you actually need to leave your job and "Eat, Pray, Love" your way around the world? Maybe you can find bite-sized versions that can enable you to honor a neglected value.

  4. Embrace all parts of yourself by regularly asking "Who do I want to be?" in any given moment. We have the opportunity to show up as different versions of ourselves any day. In any choice. At any moment. It's about giving yourself permission to utilize these different versions of you to your own benefit.


How can you move forward?

I encourage you to work your way through these exercises next time you're feeling like you're not living your truest life.

Of course, if you're stuck, I offer one-off coaching Momentum Sessions to help you carve your own path.

I offer four styles based on where you are right now. Check them out!

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