While working with a client this week, we discussed the notion of time: not having enough of it, wasting it, making use of it, feeling it speed by, having it stand still. I think for most of us, the time/space continuum is more like the trick house of mirrors at a carnival than a clear linear line this year. If Covid-19 wasn't enough of a time warp for me by simultaneously making days horribly repetitive and my months fly by, this last week, most of Oregon, my home for the last 2 years, caught on fire.
In just a few days, I witnessed not just the total devastation of an entire mountain range, its wildlife, and its communities, but I watched in shock as everything I've wanted to explore here disappeared. All of the things I never took the time to see, each spot I told myself I would come back to, every nook and cranny I excitedly planned to visit, turned to ash. In that realization, I got my ass kicked by time. It hurtled towards me and knocked the wind out of me.
So much wasted time. So many memories unmade. So many excuses given. So many things undiscovered. So many "next times". So much bullshit that got in the way.
So, enough. I'm tired of saying "I can't be bothered". I'm done saying "next time, I'll join you". I'm sick of grieving over places and moments that I didn't turn into memories.
31 will be a big year. I plan on saying YES more than NO. I commit to giving in to my inner child, to my spontaneous dancing in the moonlight being; I commit to handing her the keys and the radio station and letting her drive. I WILL be bothered to do whatever sets me alight and to do what's right, even if it's hard.
For my birthday, all I ask is that you join me and my inner child pictured here on the journey to "YES- AND", to making the most of our precious time on this planet, to being the person your kid self would be proud of, to giving a shit about the world we live in, to love each other fiercely, and to embarrassing ourselves frequently. So, challenge accepted?